09 December 2011

My Husband Thinks I'm a Communist Like the Muppets

Walking around the grocery store yesterday, my husband told me "You're a Communist just like the Muppets." 

In case you haven't seen or heard about this, FOX News recently made a comment that the Muppets are Communists.

While talking to Santa after waking him up last weekend, my older daughter had told Santa Claus, "Cookies and milk aren't really healthy, Santa, so I am going to put out oranges and orange juice for you instead."

Let me explain...

During our stay at Keylime Cove last weekend, one of the activities my older daughter participated in was waking up Santa Claus on Saturday morning.  Santa comes to Keylime Cove every year before Christmas.

He gets a special room made just for him away from all the other hotel rooms because he snores so much.  Saturday morning, an elf and a Keylime Cove employee bring some of the children to the room to call out "Wake up, Santa!" so that they can later have breakfast with him...

According to FOX News logic, I am a Communist because I taught my daughter that eating too many cookies is not healthy and that oranges are a healthy delicious alternative.

According to FOX News logic, I am a Communist because I teach my children to save the rain forest, expect human and animal life to be valued, eat healthy, feed the poor, send hot meals over to our elderly neighbors, donate old clothing to a charity, know that immigrants are people too, and to stand up for what you believe in.

Because, you know, recycling, adding a bit of flax seed to your diet, caring about human slavery and our environment makes you a Dirty No Good Stinkin' Dangnootin' Flamjammin' Red.  OK, according to them, I'm a Red.

According to my husband, I would own the books "The Organic Squirrel Gets a Bike Helmet" and another about saving the Wetlands-books in the film Bedtime Stories which Adam Sandler's character calls "Communist books".  As a confession, I would own them.

I asked my husband, "Wait.  So... I'm a Communist?"

He laughed and said, "Yeah, just like the Muppets."

I looked in my shopping cart: 
  • Organic Ginger
  • Whole Wheat Pastas
  • Whole Wheat Flour
  • Greek Honeycomb
  • Polish black currant jelly
  • Organic Apples and Bananas
  • Pickles without yellow food dye or preservatives
  • Organic Red Potatoes
  • Beets to make homemade soup
  • real butter
  • Fresh baked bread without preservatives that will go stale in 2 days
  • Beef Kidneys
  • Flax Seeds
  • Wheat Germ
  • Cage Free Eggs
  • Smoked Pig Hocks to make soup with
  • Oyster and Shiitake mushrooms
  • Organic plain yogurt
  • 7 large jugs of Kefir in various flavors
  • Sour Cream without Guar Gum or other thickening agents
  • And various other items...

All of which I planned on feeding my children after having lovingly prepared it with their help and which I planned to discuss while we ate. 

On the topic of discussions would be the taste, texture, smells of the foods along with methods of preparation around the globe in various countries and the ways the foods were grown and harvested and transported for consumption.  Also, the environmental, social and economical impact of purchasing different versions of the same product. 

I was planning on teaching them through food.

The only thing I could come back with was, "Huh.  And here I thought I was just being a mother."

How sweet that he still allows me to raise our children.

Note:  My husband loves the Muppets and is not a Communist and does not think I am one.  And in case you were not sure, I am not one.


Anonymous said...

That's really funny! I mean... Gosh... FOX is so stupid. I can't even believe that there are people out there who listens to what they say and take is serious. Every time we watch it, becasue as my husband says: you need to know your enemy (lol) I laugh so much from what they say. They are almost as funny as Carlos Mencia. I mean they are not that positively funny, but they make me laugh as he does.
Long live Reds!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

That's so absurd! How in the world does that make you a communist? I think its amazing that you're so dedicated to teaching your kids to eat healthy!