Winter has always dragged me down.
I change.
I change from an optimist who smiles at everyone constantly (it's rather contagious, I have to say) to becoming grumpy and suffering from cabin fever. Even the kids notice it and I try to explain to them that Mama prays a lot during Winter and why.
This year was harder because last winter, I was living on the East Coast and suffering through a freak blizzard last winter.
We moved to the Midwest and are living on the flat Prairie with no respite from the wind and an unceasingly bitter cold which I had never really suffered through before.
And it felt like it would
never end.
I literally began to feel like I was living in some sort of frozen tundra Hell.
And I wasn't really alone in my suffering. People I interacted with were also becoming more snappish and short tempered. Of course, that in no way encouraged any sort of comraderie with others.
Until...
A couple of weeks ago, we had almost 60 degree weather and it was heaven sent. Since then, it has been cold but I will take an average of 30's and 40's over just above 0 degrees Fahrenheit any day.
I have been desperately keeping my eye open for signs of Spring.
Birds have been singing in the Dawn lately.
We have been going on walks more lately. I am used to hikes. There is a huge difference. Hikes leave me feeling as though I exercised and conquered something, even if it is a small rocky hill. There are no hills here.
So, instead we go on a walk. Still, I relish the walks because they are walks through Spring.
I saw a little fly come in through the front door and land on my hand...
At a local meadow which was originally a pond, mating pairs of ducks and geese were eating nonstop what I believe was algae...
At a local park, I found green moss growing...
I saw what looked like pussy willow leaf buds to me and tried to take a picture but the squealing wiggling excited toddler in the baby carrier wouldn't allow me to focus the camera properly. I think she could sense the Spring and the moisture in the air as well...
We combed a local beach for interesting rocks and found fossils since the temperature was finally bearable...
We even found a "seeing stone". Do you see any fairies in it? My older daughter walks around with it looking for the fairy folk all the time now. I think it's time to look for old Polish stories about ghosts and spirits...
When I step outside, I smell earth and grass outside, a sure sign of Life.
I am only wearing my East Coast winter coat unzipped instead of my knee length down insulated coat with 5 layers underneath.
When I step outside and feel all this, I look up to Heaven and just smile. I'm sure He knows why I am smiling. Finally...
Between all this and
Paczki Day yesterday, I know it's Spring and that God was hearing my desperate prayers for an end to this long miserable lonely Winter. I hope you can feel it as well!
Na razie...
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