The Grammys Mean I'm Communist

Last night, I was subjugated to watching the Grammys.  My hippy husband put the show on in the bedroom while I was wanting to read a book about Siberian history.  Loudly.

At one point, the Hall of Fame inductees (I think that's what it was?) came on.  I recognized Diane Ross and The Allman Brothers, naturally.  But I quietly mumbled "I don't even know who these people are."

My husband turned his head and said "You don't know George Jones?!" as if I was saying I had never heard of someone who affected human life as we speak, such as Gandhi.

He then promptly proclaimed me a Communist and said I'm anti-American.

A few minutes before, someone had come on singing "Rhinestone Cowboy".  I had no idea that was a real song.

Apparently, I'm supposed to be familiar with the songs that were popular in Amerika while my family was living under the USSR Communist yoke in Poland, not aware that eventually we would be moving to a country where George Jones should be known.

I don't think I can get back the two hours wasted watching the Grammys.

Welcome to my life.

I'm not cool.

Na razie...

A Children's Rhyme in Polish About a Miscu

I remember singing this with my mother and brother while holding her hand.  The pavement curves in front of us, leading toward my elementary school.  Birds sing and the air is cool.

"Jedziemy na wycieczkę,
bierzemy misia w teczkę.
A misiu - jak to misiu,
do teczki zrobił si-siu.

A teczka była chora,
więc poszła do doktora.
A doktor był pijany,
przykleił się do ściany.

A ściana była mokra,
przykleił się do okna.
A okno było duże,
wyleciał na podwórze.

Znalazły go tam dzieci,
wrzuciły go do śmieci.
A w śmieciach były szczury,
wygryzły mu pazury.

I doktor wreszcie wrócił,
na podłogę się rzucił.
A teczka boląc noga,
poszła do psychologa.

A doktor myśląc może,
chorobę przyniósł w worze.
A teczka nic nie wiedząc,
z doktorem siedząc...

Misiek strasznie pierdzi,
i mówię że to śmierdzi.
Więc przynieś butlę z tlenem,
wieczorem i też ranem.

My brother and I would giggle everytime.

Translation without rhyming:

"We’re going on a tour (trip),
We’re taking Teddy Bear in the suitcase/basket
But Teddy Bear like a Teddy Bear,
In the Suitcase/basket made pee-pee (cue children’s crazy giggling)

The Suitcase/Basket was sick,
So it was taken to the doctor.
The Doctor was drunk,
Glued her (the suitcase/basket) to the wall. (Again, the giggling)

But the wall was wet,
So he (that crazy drunk Doctor) glued her (the suitcase/basket) to the window.
But the window was big,
So he (drunk Doctor) threw her (the suitcase/basket) outdoors/into the yard.

She (the suitcase/basket) was found by children,
Returned her (the poor peed on and sick suitcase/basket) to the trash.
And in the trashcan were rats,
They bit his (the suitcase/basket is apparently a boy now, I don’t know, just keep reading) claws.

And the Doctor finally returned,
On the floor he threw her (the suitcase/basket is back to being feminine now).
The suitcase/basket’s foot hurt,
So she (the suitcase/basket) went to a psychologist.

The doctor thought that maybe,
The sickness he carried in a cloth sack (I’m lost at this point).
But the suitcase/basket knowing nothing,
Is sitting with the Doctor….

The Teddy Bear terribly farts,
And says that this stinks.
So bring a bottle of Oxygen,
For the evening and also morning."
I hope you enjoyed that.  Na razie...